Valentine’s Day and a few other “holidays”

I hate Valentine’s Day. There are a few other “holidays” that I have reservations about but none of them compare with my feelings about Valentine’s Day. I even know where that stems from – school. Every Valentine’s Day I walked to school with all my valentines – my mother made me give to everyone – and all I wanted to do was stay at home and hide under the covers. All I could think of was - what if nobody gave me a card? What if I just got a few cards while everyone else got bunches? The worst part was that my mother always included a card for me in my bag of valentines. I thought that even she thought I wasn’t going to get any valentines and so she sent one to me in that bag. As soon as I saw it, I stuffed it into my coat pocket. In reality, I always got a fair share of cards but every year I worried. So much for my self-esteem as a child and teenager. This all came back to me as a teacher when the student council sold candygrams as a fundraiser. Members of student council would come around during the day to hand out these candygrams to those who were lucky enough to be the recipients of them. As I watched the faces of expectation followed by the faces of disappointment, I was pushed right back to my youth. As an adult, I looked at Valentine’s Day as an excuse to eat candy. My husband was not a romantic but he learned soon enough that this day meant candy and a card. (Of course, he also became my ex-husband). The part of Valentine’s Day that I really loved was getting cards from my children and grandchildren that they had made. I miss that.

Another “holiday” that I have ambivalent feelings about it is Mother’s Day. Since my oldest daughter was born the end of May, I felt I missed my first Mother’s Day and was ecstatic the following year to be recognized as a mother. My sister and I always got my mother geraniums because she loved them along with a card. Again I loved the cards my kids made for me. Around 1972, I decided that I didn’t want my children to get me presents but that they should send a donation to NARAL (the National Abortion Rights League) in my name. In those days, NARAL had an ad in the paper on Mother’s Day which expressed my feelings exactly – feelings I have to this day. Children should be wanted and loved. Motherhood is great if that is what a woman wants as I did. However, every woman should have control over her own body and therefore should be able to have legal and safe abortions. I explained this to my children and they agreed with me and for many years, they sent the donations. I still ask them to do that. But I also like cards.

Which brings me to another subject – cards. I love them. I keep them. I send them – real cards not ecards which are not permanent, although I must admit I do send ecards sometimes, especially to people who seem to only send them. I display cards on my mantle and on Christmas/Chanukah on the door. I used to get cards from people for Valentine’s Day, my birthday, Christmas and Chanukah, Mother’s Day but now there are fewer of them. My daughters have received that message and I hint around my birthday and Mother’s Day and now I do get more. I really don’t care about gifts (well, they are nice). I do care about cards. I keep them. I look at them and they bring back very nice memories. After my complaining this year about the lack of cards, I get a great one from my sister and I thank her. It is displayed so I can look at it all day. So here is a rather strong hint to all who are related to me – send cards.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all who read my blog.

Addendum:  My mother had a card business (Hallmark) in my dad’s pharmacy.  Maybe that is where my love of cards comes from – When you care enough to send the best.